Is it possible?

Is it possible to live normal again? These past two years of fertility treatments have really changed who we are individually and as a couple. I don't think I will ever be the same, both of us. That's okay though, I would never change it for the world. I just wish I could sometimes have a switch button to turn off at times. Every time I see a baby my heart warms up and when I see a pregnant woman I get happy and sad. I just want it to be our turn. I know there are many others in this world who are asking the exact same thing..."when will it be our turn?"

I pray and pray to God that he give me strength to never give up, ever. I know it will be our time, its the waiting part that has been the hardest time. I really know can say I understand the phrase "patience is a virtue".

Baby dust to all! <3

Financial Phone Call

Today our financial adviser called us to go over our IVF package. We decided to go with a two-cycle plan which includes two fresh cycles and an as many frozen embryo transfers we need until pregnant. Our adviser told  us that the plan does not expire until there is a live birth. I brought up the fact that if anything was to happen God forbid would we be covered and yes we would be. I felt a huge, HUGE sigh of relief hearing this. We feel really good about this now its just about saving our money. We have most of the meds we will need...huge sigh of relief and now we wait until our first appointment which should be around October! I could run down the street screaming I am so excited!!!

Long Overdue!

Hello blogger world!! It sure has been awhile!! I apologize to everyone who has contacted me and have seen zero response from me. Our Internet has been down and continues to be down so I am reporting from work while I am on break!

So what has been going on with us two?!
Well we told you all that we were moving to a bigger and better house two houses down...literally! Well, we were given a date of the 22nd then it got moved to the 11th, then it got moved to the 5th! As you can see all the moving around of dates really had us confused and we had decided to plan on moving out on the 22nd that way we didn't feel rushed moving. Then, we got a call on the 3rd that the house would be in fact ready to move in so we jumped on that train! Before you knew it were packing at the speed of light and coordinating friends and family to help move us in, along with everything else that comes along with moving! Boy, it was quite the move! Everything was a mess!! Me being the organized person that I am through that out the window. We are still unpacking and moving stuff around. Thankfully we are moved in. We still have to clean the other place out and finish some stuff over there but for the most part we are 80% done.

Every evening after work I come home and we both start on something with the house. We want to just get it all done and behind us. I guess it didn't help that in that week our washer broke, and our Internet has failed to be connected....but we have TV! We are still awaiting them to come and connect! I hate being with out Internet! I love everything about this house! We are starting to put "our" touches in the house. Its starting to feel like home.

I think the hardest part of this move was not the fact that we were go-go-go but the empty room. In our other house our second bedroom was not really visible unless you went down the hallway now I pass the room every time I go to our bedroom or in that part of the house. Every time I picture "our" baby room decorated and the cooing of a newborn baby. Something so close yet it feels so far away. I cried the first night we were moved in. I sat in the empty room and just cried. Haven't cried since we found out about our negative. It didn't make it any better when I had to look at the baby stuff we have bought over the past two years. I still don't know why we bought baby stuff. I mean not a lot but some cute neutral color clothes. I can't wait to have that baby in our arms.

We had a phone consult with our new doctor whom I love and appreciate! He was awesome and down to earth. He explained that after reviewing my chart he believes I was on too high of meds. I had a feeling of this. He said especially for my age. He also said that based on my antral-follicle count he should have known that  I would have stimmed well which I did. I went too fast which caused me to have a lot of immature eggs. He also said that based on how many eggs I had at day three I should have been a day three transfer and NOT a day 5. Another big sigh. I cried on the phone and he was so comforting and said it was OK. He understood how frustrated this entire process was. So we have decided we want to start with my period in November. Which means retrieval/transfer would be December/Jan. We may push it earlier if we can save enough by then. I can't wait to get this process going!!!

Thank you to all who reached out while I was gone! You are all awesome :)